I love this book! It helps explain the NCLEX in terms a new nursing grad can understand. It also helps you understand that the way we were taught in nursing school isn’t necessarily the way this exam is set up. Its not based on real life nursing, it’s based on “ivory tower” nursing.

Thank you Ellie for recommending this book in your post about NCLEX. It made me remember I had purchased it awhile back and so I went to go dig it out of my huge pile of nursing books.

If you don’t have it…..get it. Read it from page number one, all the way to the end.

Good luck.

I. Am. A. College. Graduate.

I feel so accomplished that I really don’t have words.

I am so psyched.

OMG…..I just scheduled to take my nursing boards for August 16th!! I think I have to go lay down now. The room is spinning and my thoughts are starting to go into that domino pattern of thinking…..barf.

I’m going to hit the review hard on Monday and make a study schedule. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I mean, I didn’t sacrifice the last 5 years of my life by going to college at night, part time, missing out on big chunks of my kids’ lives just to fail at the last minute….right?!

I miss nursing so much that I want to pass this and get back into the hospital so bad, but if I fail…..ugh!

I hate stress like this. I have to force myself to think positive but it’s hard because my brain likes to go to dark places. I am my own worst enemy.

So I gave up soda in April and still have yet to fall of the wagon with that one. However, I fell of the donut wagon weeks ago……damn little cakes full of chocolaty icing, which basically equates to crack! BUT….I only have cheat days on the weekend! You have to have cheat days or at least I do. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself to delude myself so please leave my delusion alone. Thank you.

Just recently, like in the last 3 weeks I have actually managed to incorporate exercise into my days. Yeah…..I know. Shocking. I was shocked myself when I realized that it’s been 3 weeks since I started. And I’ve actually stuck with it. Big deal really. It’s nothing real big. It’s not like I go to the gym or run several miles a day. Who the hell can do that with 3 kids at home. (If you can, I’m not insulting you, I envy you, really!) I just do 50 crunches, 15 lunges, 15 tiptoe squats, 20 girlie push ups and some side leg lifts. I do this in the morning and at night. And I feel GREAT! I actually had to go buy a new bikini the other day because the one I bought at the beginning of the season is getting to big……YEAH!

I’ve also started exercising my brain too……that’s the ouch part. I’ve been DONE with nursing school since June 23rd and I have totally left it behind. My brain needed some MUCH needed de-stressing. So yesterday I started reviewing for my boards.

OUCH.

It’s basically cramming two years of nursing school into your brain or trying to retrieve those files from your brain’s hard drive, if they haven’t been eaten by cortisol or alcohol from binge drinking on the weekends when you don’t have clinical rotations or have to study for an exam. Hey…..it’s college!

So my 34 year old ass is not only sore, but so is my 34 year old brain.

What my days are about to consist of…ugh!!! Damn you NCLEX!

Yup…..its all in the envelope and on its way.

I said the other day how much I missed nursing. Maybe now I won’t have to wait too long to get back to it.

Just got back from the post office. Sent in my fingerprints, my Iowa Nursing License application, background check waiver and a check to get my ATT. That’s Authorization To Test to be able to take the NCLEX.

Thanks Rick and Michelle Arguello for your help with that. It was a big deal to send that in and you helped me do that. Thank you just doesn’t quite cover it all, but I appreciate it more than I can find the words to express at the moment.

And now I wait.

Until the letter gets here and then I send that to the NCLEX people and then they send me testing dates.

Gulp.

Things I miss……

Who knew I would miss my clinical rotations.

Actually….I miss nursing.

Bad.

You suck. And are utterly confusing.

Even though I had it spelled out for me in one of my last nursing classes, I still need someone to hold my hand through this process apparently.

I’d rather be on the floor taking care of a critical patient rather than filling you out.

That is all for now.

So this morning, as the clock struck 7am….I was DONE with nursing school.

Yes, that’s right…..DONE.

It was surreal as I was walking out of one of my patients room, looking at my watch (because you do that A LOT as a nurse) realizing the time, and having that moment of complete closure and victory.

I. DID. IT.

I stepped into the hallway and looked around to see several girls in uniforms identical to mine. Here were the first year nursing students. They are coming in as I am going out. Fitting. They are getting ready to start their first day on their clinical rotation, occupying all the wall computers to scour the digital charts for any scrap of information that they think will be pertinent to helping care for their “one” patient. Yup……one patient. Last night I had 5. But they are where I was close to 2 years ago. Reality check moment. Really. The sense of accomplishment that I felt in that brief moment of realization and observation…….well, I’m having a hard time putting it into words. I know that it’s not a moment that I’m going to forget any time soon. The really funny part about it was that I knew exactly how they all felt. Nervous, unsure, trying to hide all of their stress and nerves behind an immaculately white uniform, sparingly applied makeup all while hugging several different folders of monotonous paperwork and trying to look confident. Yup. Been there. Done that.

I’ve paid my dues.  I’ve done my countless medication sheets and care plans. I’ve waited on my one patient hand and foot. I’ve written out days worth of lab results and why or why not they are abnormal. I’ve now earned the right to sit at the nurses station with the floor nurses and chart. I’ve now earned the right to delegate if the need arises.  I have earned the right to care for more than one patient. But mostly, I’ve now earned and acquired knowledge. Knowledge that is going to grow in the years to come to help me care for my patients. Critical thinking skills that are going to blossom, flourish and hone as the years go on in my career.

There are two really big kickers of this day. Two more reasons why I will NEVER forget this day.

First of all this is the second night in a row I’ve worked. On the first night we had a patient straight from post op. She had just come to the floor and was….to put it mildly…..a hot mess. She was 92 had fallen and broken her hip and was not doing so well. Her blood pressure was severely low, her pulse was really high, her breathing was fast, her temperature was elevated, she was combative, her skin looked pale, her eyes were red rimmed……her situation looked dim. My preceptor was having a hard time getting a hold of the doctor and we were doing what we could as nurses, to help this woman out. We took the blankets off of her, called respiratory, got the charge nurse and all put our heads together to see what to do for this poor woman. To make a long story short, we spent quite a large chunk of our shift with her, with allotting time to see the other 4 patients we had. The doctor finally called back, orders were given and she was starting to SLOWLY turn around. By the time I left, my patients future seemed unsure. So you can imagine my pleasant surprise to come back the next night to see that she was on the mend. She was responsive now. She could tell you if she was in pain or if she couldn’t hear you so you could speak louder. She could even crack a freakin’ joke!! WOW!!! And I helped her get there!! (my preceptor and her charge nurse really did most of it, but I contributed what I could) It was the most rewarding thing.

Next kicker, was that I got off work at 715 am, went to Kinko’s to pick up some resumes I had printed off and came back to the hospital to wait for Human resources to open. I then asked if I could speak to the lady that my cover letter was addressed to. She was not in, but she was going to be shortly and I could wait if I wanted. Well…….HECK YEAH I was waiting. And it paid off too……..because I got an interview on the spot! WOOHOO!!!! I was in my dreaded nursing school whites, but hey….I looked professional!!! Even though I despise them……I must admit, as I looked at the newbies coming in…..they did look really professional in their get up. Our get up….potato, potatoe.

Best ending to that chapter in my life.

Now only if the beginning of the next chapter didn’t open with a main sewer line back-up the minute I walked in the door from all this awesomeness, that would have been…..well, awesome.

I’m going to miss all my girls on the floor I just left. They were all great and helped me further my dream. They all have given me something to take with me, nothing material, but just things I witnessed them doing, without them really knowing, that I will take with me and implement into my practice. Thanks girls!